


And I knew he loved me

by misssushicat



Category: Sex Education (TV)
Genre: Bad Parenting, Blow Jobs, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, Teen Angst, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-17 08:00:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17556431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misssushicat/pseuds/misssushicat
Summary: Starting the day in the band room, Eric struggles to understand what is happening between him and Adam, and Adam is shipped off to military school only to discover that there is actually alright people in this world after all.





	1. Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little explanatory note:  
> This fic will start in the canon-universe and work it's way post-canon.

Eric’s breath was trembling, coming in short, ragged bursts. _How was this happening?_ He could feel Adam trailing downwards, placing open mouthed kisses on his stomach, the sound and sensation combined making his head spin. Adam’s hands pawed softly at his sides and then suddenly they were gone, and Eric could do nothing but stare in awe as Adam sat up, swiftly opening his belt and pants, his eyes dark and hungry as he took in Eric’s state. Eric could feel Adam’s name on the tip of his tongue, somewhere wanting to ask him if he was sure, if he was okay, what this all _meant,_ but that was all wiped away at the feeling of Adam’s mouth closing around him, drawing him in. Adam felt feverish around his dick and Eric struggled to keep a broken moan from escaping, his hands scrambling across the floor, desperate for something to hold on to. Frantically they searched downward, his brain too busy to be anything but bold, and he let his fingers twist into Adam’s hair, scraping his short nails against his scalp. Adam let out a throaty moan, pressing his thumbs harder into Eric’s hips, pinning him down onto the hard floor beneath him. The vibrations of Adam’s moan nestled it’s way right into Eric’s groin, pushing him off the edge with a stifled yelp, Adam’s name on his lips.

 

 Afterwards they sat in silence, the musty room smelling like sex and _them_ , and Eric could not stop himself from asking.  
  
“That.. what was that?” He chuckled, the feeling in his chest light, so unlike anything he ever felt next to the other boy before. He didn’t dare to try and decipher it. As Adam started to get up, the feeling faltered, and he could physically feel Adam closing off again, and Eric felt his insides clench tightly. _No, not yet, please don’t go just yet._ “Adam we should talk about-”

Adam’s arm shot out, his hand grabbing Eric’s shirt, his knuckles turning white as he tugged on the fabric. 

“If you ever tell anyone about this I will fuckin’ end you, do you understand?”

 The hunger from a few moments ago gone, Adam’s eyes felt like steel - cold and distant, and Eric automatically hunched over, the familiar feeling of fear nestling into his stomach. He nodded quickly, keeping his gaze down as Adam got up, the lightness in his chest gone as he watched Adam walking away.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely fell in love with these two dorks and could not stop myself from writing a little something from them. I have a few more chapters drafted already, some will be quite short and some longer since I'm letting myself explore a new way of writing and want to keep the tempo going, sort of. 
> 
> Anyway, please leave a comment if you want to, it's always greatly appreciated.
> 
> Also, if you wanna say hi I'm on tumblr as well: http://misssushicat.tumblr.com/


	2. Heartbeat

Eric had spent the day simultaneously hoping for and dreading running into a certain someone, his heart fluttering madly at every flash of a hoodie in the corner of his eye. It was never him, though. So when Adam sauntered into Mr. Hendricks class as he went over the anatomy of the heart and Eric’s heart did that same agonizing dance in his chest once again, the irony wasn’t lost on him.

  
As Adam walked behind him to take a seat, Eric could feel his scent linger in the air, and it was almost too much. The memory of Adam’s lips pressed to his own made his breath shaky, and he struggled to keep the pen steady as he wordlessly offered it to Adam, their gaze locking for just a moment longer. Eric bowed his head down, trying to will his brain to focus on the notes in front of him, when he registered a movement. Adam’s arm, pushed just a tad too far to his left, so close that Eric could almost feel the warmth through his lab coat. He glanced over at Adam, puzzled, uncertain if he was reading something into the situation that wasn’t actually there. Then, the unmistakable feeling of Adam’s knee pressing into his, and the fluttering in Eric’s chest grew in strength, searching down into his stomach. He swallowed, moving his notebook over to the right, holding his breath as he saw Adam reaching his pinkie out. Slowly he moved his hand ever so slightly towards Adam and _there_ , there he was. The softest touch, almost imperceptible and gone just as soon as he could feel it, but it was there. It was _something._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know these chapters are very short, but like I said, I'm kinda exploring not having to post a wall of text each time (which always just gives me anxiety - never thinking it's enough) and there will for sure be more chapters very soon, some of them longer than these first two. 
> 
> Comments are always appreciated!
> 
> If you wanna say hi I'm on tumblr as well: http://misssushicat.tumblr.com/


	3. Your lucky day

“Okay. Thank you sir.”  
  


Eric’s smile faltered as soon as he turned to walk out of the room, and he fiddled with his phone to keep his hands busy.  _ It’s your lucky day. Adam couldn’t make it. _ Mr. Hendricks words rung in his ears as Eric got up on his bike and rode quickly, finding himself taking the route home that he had purposely avoided for so long. 

 

His brakes squealed as he came to a halt outside Adam’s house, watching Adam almost doubled over as he hugged a woman Eric guessed had to be his mother. He stood frozen, taking in the scene in front of him. The duffle bag, the car, the man in the uniform. He stared as Adam threw the bag into the back seat of the car, and then  _ finally _ Adam looked up. Eric’s chest tightened when Adam’s eyes met his, the look of defeat painted over the otherwise so closed off boy, his shoulders heavy with the weight of not being able to decide his own fate. It made Eric’s breath get caught in his throat. 

 

For the second time in the span of two days Eric watched as Adam disappeared. He never thought it would hurt this much.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a small something. Gosh I love these boys.


	4. Troublemaker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are now post-canon, just FYI.

Spit flew from the sergeants mouth and Adam breathed through his nose, making sure to keep his face void of feelings. He could feel some of the other boys cower slightly next to him, probably not used to being screamed at the same way Adam was. This was nothing, really, he told himself. He’d lived through worse.  
  
Not satisfied with the lack of change in Adam’s demeanor after the scream fest, the sergeant clenched his jaw tightly, flaring his nostrils as he took another step forward. Adam could feel his foul breath on his face.   
  
“I will make you regret this.” The sergeant spit out.

 

Four hours later Adam was still there, in the exact spot where the sergeant had left him. His hands on his back, as they were always expected to stand, his shoulders were aching from being tensed up. He could feel the anger coiling in his stomach, the falling rain doing nothing to cool him off, but instead fueled his hate even more. They’d never make him regret it, he thought. He was done, so fucking  _ done _ taking shit. He had broken another bloke’s nose, so what? Did they even bother to ask him why he did it? No, of course they didn’t. They just lashed out, like his dad, pinning him as the troublemaker without any hesitation. His clothes were soaked, the rain trickling down his neck and onto his back. He felt his resolve harden. Not another day, he thought. Not another fucking day. 

 

As nightfall came so did the cold, and Adam was shivering where he stood. In earnest he felt exhausted, his legs were so tired he didn’t know how he was still standing, but he didn’t let himself think about that. Not yet. There would come a time where he could let himself feel it, but he would have to push through this night first. He could see all the students moving around in the windows, all of them just silhouette figures from the field where he stood. Dinner was already over, they were all probably getting ready for bed.  
  
He concentrated on his breathing. In and out, a slow and steady rhythm. The first hours had been the most uncomfortable with his body not used to being still for so long. It had ached for movement, just a small something, a pen to fiddle with, anything. But he had bit down, not wanting to let the sergeant have any reason to think he would be giving in. So he stood still, like a marble statue in that musty old museum they had visited in secondary. He’d mostly dragged around by himself that day, he remembered, sneaking out for a smoke the first chance he got. He would fucking kill for a cigarette right now.   
  
Hearing the unmistakable sound of the door opening and then the heavy sound of it closing, he made sure to straighten up, keeping his face neutral. A few moments later he could see one of the older students, he didn’t know his name, come walking over the field. Surely sent by one of the sergeants or lieutenants, he took his time to making his way over to Adam, stopping a few meters short of where Adam was stood.  
  
“You can come in now.” He said. He seemed bored, like there were about a million other things he would rather be doing. __You and me both, fuckface.  
  
Adam gave him a small nod, his tongue glued to the roof of his mouth, letting the other student turn around and start walking before he started moving. He kept his gait slow, refusing to look like he was at all bothered by the hours on the field. Walking to his room he kept his eyes forward, not looking at the other students as he walked by, even though he could feel their eyes on him. He peered into the room that he shared with another student, and when he found it empty he quickly changed his clothes and grabbed the water bottle he kept on his bedside table, downing the whole thing before getting into bed. When his roommate returned, Adam just shut his light off and turned to his side to face the wall, not even acknowledging his presence. And then, he waited.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, at least this is a bit longer, yeah? >_>


	5. Secrets

“Are you alright?”  
  
“Huh?” Eric looked up from his phone, only to be greeted by Otis’s concerned face.  
  
“You’ve been staring at your phone for like, fifteen minutes.”  
  
Eric huffed. “And that made you worried, when 98% of all teens in this country keep their eyes glued to their phones for like 90% of their waking time?”  
  
“Well first of all, you made those statistics up. And no, it wouldn’t normally concern me.” Otis took Eric’s phone from his hand and held it up. “But your phone’s locked, and however much time teens do spend on their phones, I’m pretty sure it’s not entirely normal to stare at a black screen for long periods of time, especially not while at a party with your best friend.”  
  
“Give me that!” Eric grabbed his phone quickly, hiding it in his pocket to avoid further scrutiny. “Rude.” He scoffed, pulling at his sapphire jacket.  
  
“Come on.” Otis pleaded. “I can see something’s bothering you. It’s not that I’ve been spending too much time with Ola is it?”  
  
Eric chuckled at that. “No, no. I’m happy for you Otis, really I am. I think she’s good for you."  
  
 Otis smiled, blushing a little as he fiddled with his hands. “Yeah I think so too.” He looked up at his best friend. “But if it’s not that, then what?” He sat up straight, leaning closer to Eric, suddenly looking angry. “Is someone at school giving you shit, because I will- Well I’m not actually sure what I will do but I will come up with _something_.”  
  
 Eric put his hands up. “Whoa there tiger. No one is giving me shit.” He chuckled. “I appreciate it though.”  
  
 Otis still looked concerned, and Eric sighed. He had tried to imagine this conversation countless times, when it would happen and what he would say, but he’d always come up short. He didn’t know where to start explaining, but he also didn’t want Otis to be so worried about him.  
  
“Alright, I’ll tell you. But you have to promise not to tell a living soul. Not even Ola, deal?”  
  
"I promise.” Otis nodded.  
  
Eric looked around him, people drinking and chatting, the loud music sure to have the neighbours complain to Aimee’s parents again, but not loud enough for what he was about to disclose. “Not here.” He said, grabbing Otis’ hand and pulling him with him.  
  
Other straight teenage boys might protest a bit about being dragged through a party and into a bedroom by one of the schools only openly gay guys, but knowing Otis he probably didn’t even reflect on what the other people at the party thought as they wove their way through the crowd. That was one of the reasons why Eric loved him.  
  
  
Securely in Aimee’s room, for once blissfully void of horny teenagers trying to sneak a fuck, Eric closed the door behind them. Leaning his back against the hard, wooden surface he suddenly felt nervous. There was a reason to why he hadn’t told Otis before. At first he had told himself that it was because it simply wasn’t his story to tell, not completely anyway. He didn’t know what Adam wanted, or even why he had done those things in the stuffy band room in the first place, and he’d told himself that he needed to keep quiet, to not out Adam without his permission. Eric didn’t know if Adam was gay, even. But, he realized, that was not the only reason why he had hesitated to confide in his best friend. He was, for the first time in a long time, worried about what Otis would think about him. Falling for his long time bully was maybe not the weirdest thing Eric had ever done, but still, it was big, and he wasn’t sure how Otis would react, and that scared him a little.  
  
Otis sat down on Aimee’s bed, keeping his eyes fixed on Eric. He didn’t say anything, he knew Eric well enough to know that sometimes it was best not to rush him.  
  
“So,” Eric started. “I- Do you know that time that-” He stopped himself, finding it hard to know where to even start.  
  
Otis waited, patiently.  
  
Taking a deep breath, Eric tried again. “Something kind of happened, with someone. And I don’t know what it means.”  
  
Otis looked at him, puzzled. “And with something you mean?”  
  
“Like we kissed.” Eric bit his lip, trying to find the right words. “And stuff.”  
  
Otis’ eyes went wide, almost comically so, and he sputtered. “You- but- wait. With who?”  
  
“Well that’s the issue, he isn’t out yet.”  
  
Otis nods slowly, seeing the issue at hand. “Okay. When was this, exactly?”  
  
“About a month ago.”  
  
“A _month_ ago?” Otis let out a short laugh. “I can’t believe you managed to keep this to yourself for that long.” He looked Eric over. “So have you-. Like, has anything else happened, since then?”  
  
“No, he-” Eric stops himself. It feels wrong, telling someone about Adam without his consent, but he just _really_ need to talk to someone about this. He doesn’t need to tell Otis just so that he’ll stop worrying, but so that he can fucking breathe properly again, the confusion of what happened feeling overwhelming without someone to share it with. “You can’t tell anyone, Otis.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
“No you don’t, Otis. It’s not my place to out him, okay, and if this slips out to anyone else I don’t-”  
  
“Eric.” Otis looks at him, his eyes warm despite their icy blue color. “I understand. I won’t tell anyone, I swear.”  
  
Eric breathes out slowly. “Okay.” He nods. “I trust you.”  
  
Otis smiles at that. “I'm glad.”  
  
Eric sucks in a breath. “So you know when I yelled at Mr. Hendricks and-”  
  
“Is it Mr. Hendricks?” Otis voice is a harsh whisper, him looking almost panicked.  
  
“Aaand-” Eric continues, looking at Otis with slight annoyance, “I punched Anwar and-”  
  
“It’s Anwar?” Otis whispers, less shocked this time. “But wait, I thought you said it was someone who wasn’t out?” He looks confused.  
  
“Will you let me fucking finish?” Eric scolds. “Or do you want to just keep guessing and I’ll tell you when it burns?”  
  
Otis sends him an apologetic look. “Sorry.” He mimes zipping his mouth shut, then places his hands in his lap, intertwining them.  
  
“So as I said.” Eric continues. “I yelled at Mr. Hendricks and then I punched Anwar, and after my suspension I got detention, remember?”  
  
Otis just nods this time, looking like he wants to say something, but doesn’t as to not interrupt again.  
  
“And I didn’t- There was someone else that got detention too.” Eric chews on his lip, a twinge of fear spiking through his body.  
  
The look of an epiphany paints Otis’ face, and this time he can’t stop himself. “Oh. It was that person?”  
  
Eric nods softly. “Yeah, it was him.”  
  
“Do you want to tell me who?” Otis asks softly.  
  
“Yeah.” Eric’s voice is hardly more than a whisper. “It’s- It was Adam.”  
  
Eric is sure that Otis’ face goes through his whole range of emotions in those few seconds after he’s uttered Adam’s name, and if it wasn’t for the tension in the moment it would probably have made him laugh. Now he just waits, his nerves too rattled for him to think, chewing on the inside of his cheek.  
  
Otis puts his hands on the bed, pushing off to stand up, and takes a step toward Eric. “Adam?” He asks, bewildered.  
  
Eric nods.  
  
“Adam Groff?” Otis continues.  
  
Eric just nods again, his throat feeling like it’s closing off. Whatever Otis says next, he thinks, might be profound. It might change their whole friendship, he tells himself. Because maybe this is something that Otis might never understand? Sure he had helped Adam out that once, but the look of total shock on Otis’ face makes Eric unsure if this was crossing a line he didn’t even know was there.  
  
“Fucking hell!” Otis huffs, his arms making this weird half-flail before they once again settle against his sides. And then, he laughs. “Well I fucking didn’t see that coming, did I?” He says, shaking his head.  
  
Eric can feel the tension in his body ease up slightly, the look on his best friends face soft as he laughs softly. “Yeah,” He manages to get out, “I’m pretty sure you were less shocked when you thought it was Mr. Hendricks.”  
  
Otis chuckles. “Yeah I-” He stops himself seeing that Eric is still somewhat tensed up, and he closes the distance between them, wrapping Eric in a tight hug. “Thank you for telling me.”  
  
Eric body relaxes into the hug, putting his arms around Otis and squeezing back, the tension rolling off him completely. “Man I thought- I didn’t know what I thought, but I wasn’t sure how you’d react.”  
  
Otis disentangles from the hug, but keeps his hands on Eric’s shoulders. “Well to be honest I don’t know if that was the best reaction ever.” He shakes his head. “Adam frickin’ Groff mate. How did you manage to keep that one to yourself for a whole _month_?” He lets out a soft laugh. “Well, regardless of that, I- wait.” Otis knits his brows. “But he was-” A look of understanding dawns on Otis’ face. “They sent him away.”  
  
Eric nods, his throat going tight again. “Yeah.”  
  
“Ah man that sucks.” Otis says. “Did you talk to him about it? Like, after?”  
  
Shaking his head, Eric leans into Otis a bit more, needing the palpable feeling of support. “No. We- He didn’t want to talk about it. But there was this gesture, I guess, in class the day after. And I thought I would get to talk to him at detention the day after, but he didn’t show so I biked by his house and I saw him, Otis. I saw him hug his mum and then getting in that car and he looked _sad_ , like he had given up almost, and I-” Eric falters, stopping his rambling and he can feel Otis pulling him close again.  
  
“Okay, okay.” Otis’ voice is low. “No wonder you’ve been acting strange. That must suck mate. I’m sorry.”  
  
Eric sniffles a bit, feeling overwhelmed with everything. “You’re my best friend.” He says. He can hear the smile in Otis’ voice as he replies.  
  
“You’re my best friend too, weirdo.” He looks Eric over, wiping a stray tear off the corner of his eye. “You wanna go home?”  
  
“Yeah.” Eric nods. “Yeah I think I want to go home.”  
  
“Alright.” Otis slings his arm around Eric. “Let’s get out of here then.”  
  
“You can stay if you want, it’ alright.” Eric doesn’t want Otis to feel like he has to leave just because of him, that would make him feel bad.  
  
Otis huffs. “And hang with who, exactly? Nah mate, let’s go home.”  
  
Smiling, Eric bumps his shoulder against Otis, and once again they are weaving through the alcohol-laden crowd in Aimee’s house together.  
  
“Mr. Hendricks.” Eric chuckles and shakes his head. “You’re mad mate.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pheeew, that was fun to write! Also a bit tricky, but I really like writing dialogue, so I hope you like it!


	6. Caught in the rain

Adam tried to control his breathing but it was scratchy and rapid, his lungs hurting from the exertion. His legs felt dead, like he was lugging two tree trunks beneath him instead. He just needed to keep on running, he thought to himself. They couldn’t catch him if he just kept running.

The rain was still pouring down and it blurred his vision, causing him to have to blink constantly. He stumbled forward, his foot getting caught on something on the dark forest floor, and he cursed silently to himself as he flailed to regain control over his body. The backpack he had nicked from his roommate strained on his already sore shoulders, the few things he actually cared about hastily stuffed into it. His phone was there, bundled into some clothes, and he hoped for it to be kept dry as he made his way through the woods. He probably just had a few percent in it, but it was better than nothing.

A wave of nausea rolled over him, and he skid over the wet moss, tumbling into a tree. His sneakers were completely soaked, just like the rest of him, and he almost regretted not taking his school issued boots instead, but the thought of staying in that uniform for one second longer made him even more queasy. His stomach reminded him once again that he had nothing to eat since breakfast and he took a few shaky breaths trying to compose himself. At least he couldn’t hear or see anything near him, and he hoped the reason for that was because no one actually knew that he had left, and not because of the deafening sound of the rain drowning out everything else.

 

A few miles later he was still crashing through the trees, more and more unsteady due to the exhaustion. He didn’t know for how long he had been running or how much distance he had put between him and the academy, but he was starting to realize that he had to stop soon. Maybe hitch a ride or try to sneak onto a bus. He had kept close to the road, not wanting to risk getting lost but also not wanting to be an easy target on the road itself. He still wasn’t sure if anyone was following him. Slowing his pace he drew closer to the road. The rain was merely a trickling drizzle now compared to before. He hoped for a sign or anything familiar to give him an idea on where he was. He wasn’t lost, exactly. He was pretty sure this was the same road the private that had come to pick him up had taken when driving to the academy. Pretty sure. He hadn’t seen many cars at all since he left, but it had to be morning soon, and hopefully he had gotten himself close enough to a town or village or _something_ to find a bus. Walking just behind the treeline now, he turned his head to the road, the unmistakable sound of tires on a wet asphalt road catching his attention. It came from behind him, and he felt the searing burn of fear. _They’re coming._ He fought to breathe, trying to keep his head clear. Maybe it wasn’t the academy. Maybe it was someone else.

He stepped close to a tree, using it to hide his form as he peered into the darkness, trying to make out the color of the car. All of the academy cars were the same ugly beige color, and he was pretty sure that none of the sergeants or lieutenants would want to be bothered enough to take their own car just to go after a shitty kid, especially not in the rain and mud. He saw two headlights coming towards him and _crap_ it was dark. He couldn’t see the car properly. He squinted his eyes, trying to get a glimpse of the color. Wait, it was- it was red, wasn’t it? It drew closer and soon it would be too late, it would pass him without ever noticing he was there. Breathing hard, he took a lightning decision and stepped out onto the road, waving his arms to catch the driver’s attention. The car veered slightly and for a second Adam was worried that he had scared the driver too much, causing an accident, but the driver regained control over the car and then started to slow down. The car was a dark red color, and Adam could feel the pulse in his throat beat fast as it came creeping closer to him, finally coming to a stop next to him. The driver was a woman, he realized. He raised his hand in an awkward half-wave, not sure how to make himself seem non-threatening. The woman in the car looked him over, and then rolled down her window.

“Jesus kid, what the hell are you doing out in this weather?” Her voice was a bit husky, like maybe she smoked too much, and her eyes were big and not without suspicion.

Adam bent down a bit, making sure not to move closer to the car without her permission, and pulled his hood down. “I’m-,” He started, not sure how much he could trust to tell a complete stranger, but he realized this was the best shot he had of getting the furthest he could from the academy. “I was at the academy. The military one.”

He could see a flash of recognition in her eyes, then she nodded slowly. “Shitty place, huh?”

Adam nodded. “Yeah I- I just needed to get out of there.”

“You goin’ home?” She asked. “I could give you a ride home to your parents I suppos-”

“No!” Adam almost shouted, panic rising in his chest again, and the woman in the car recoiled slightly at his tone. “No, please.” He pleaded, softer now, shaking his head. “I can’t go home. I just- please.”

The woman looked at him, her face growing softer. “Alright kid.” She nodded. “Get in then. And don’t-” she pointed at him, sternly, “make me regret this.”

Adam let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding, quickly walking to the passenger side door. “Thank you.” He opened the door and quickly got in. “I won’t, I promise.”

She put the car into gear and started driving, gesturing toward the back seat. “There’s a towel in the bag back there, you can use it if you want, it’s clean.”

Feeling the rain still dripping from his hair and clothes he leaned over, opening the aforementioned bag and rummaging to find the towel. “Thanks.” 

“What’s your name kid?” She asked, looking at him out of the corner of her eye.

Adam had always hated being called a kid, it making him feel small and useless, like someone who was too weak to take care of himself. But for some reason he didn’t mind it now, the tone in the woman’s voice making it sound almost endearing. “Adam.” He said, finally finding the corner of the towel in the duffel bag, pulling on it to get it out. It seemed caught on something and when he pulled a bit harder a silver, seven-inch shoe followed, falling onto the floor of the back seat. “Shit, sorry.” He mumbled, picking it up quickly, examining it to see if he scratched it.

“It’s alright kid.” The woman said. “They get busted on every week, dropping them aren’t gonna break ‘em.”

“Right.” Almost blushing a bit Adam hurried to put the shoe back in the bag and busy himself with trying to dry his hair off.

“So Adam,” she said, keeping her eyes at the road but still somehow making Adam feel like he was being watched. “I’m Nadine. And you’re pretty lucky I got called in for an extra shift today, or you might’ve been stuck out in the rain for god knows how long.”

“Yeah I was starting to think I might be fucked.” Adam confessed. He felt pretty comfortable with Nadine, and he hoped she didn’t see him as threatening. Her calling him a ‘kid’ made him think that maybe she didn’t.

She tapped at the steering wheel with her nails, long and metallic blue, seeming to think something over. “So if you’re not going home, luv, then where can I take you?” 

“Just a bus stop or something.” Adam shoved the towel down the back of his hoodie, trying to get as dry as he could. “Doesn’t really matter which one.”

Whipping her head around to watch him for a split second, all of a sudden she seemed concerned. “Never in my life would I put a kid out on the street at this time of night.” She said. “I meant, where are you staying?”

“Oh.” Adam stopped to think. Watching as Nadine tapped her nails at the steering wheel again, something that seemed habitual to her, he was once again reminded of the moment that had lingered in his brain for the whole duration of his time at the academy. A flash of blue nail varnish, the slightest touch of a pinkie against his own. Truth was, he didn’t know if he had anywhere to go, but there was one place that he could think of to give a chance. “Um, I mate’s, I guess.”

“Alright.” Nadine nodded.

They settled in for the ride, sitting in comfortable silence mixed with a bit of chatting as Nadine asked him about this and that. She kept away from the subject of family, which Adam was grateful for. He asked her about some things as well, but didn’t know how to mention the shoe or her job. It seemed best not to anyway, he thought. But she seemed to understand that he wondered, so she told him that she worked at a club in a town a few miles away, the money making it worth the commute, as she put it.

“It’s maybe not what I saw in my future when I was younger, but it pays the bills and the girls that I work with are nice, which is more than some people can say I guess.” She shrugged.

Adam didn’t know what he had thought an exotic dancer would be like, but Nadine wasn’t it. “How did you decide to do it?”

“I used to wait tables when I was in college, to make ends meet. I had a partial scholarship but since I don’t come from money my family had a hard time helping me out. I have three siblings.” She explained. “And one day this girl I worked with mentioned that she was gonna go to a club to try out dancing. The next week she was back with more cash than I could have ever figured possible. So I asked to come try it out and that was that. No more waiting tables for crappy tips.”

Adam hesitated. “Did you drop out?”

Nadine laughed. “Nah kid, my dad would’ve killed me. I got my degree and I used it too, worked at a law firm for a while. But when they did cutbacks I found myself out of a job again, so I went back to dancing. For the moment, at least.”

“Your dad don’t mind the dancin’?” Adam couldn’t even begin imagining telling his dad that. He’d probably have a heart attack. Or kick his face in.

“I’m not sure it’s something he’s over the moon about, but he’s just glad I have a steady income and that I’m healthy. That being said, he didn’t particularly like me working as a waitress either, so.”

Adam looked at her curiously.

“Too many men with grabby hands there too.” She explained.

Adam’s stomach growled loudly as a response.

“Sorry.” He ducked his head down in embarrassment. “I didn’t-”

“Side pocket.” Nadine said, shooting him a smile. “In my bag. There should be a granola bar there. And yes, I’m sure kid. Take it.”

Almost feeling faint at the idea of something to eat, Adam didn’t bother trying to argue with her, and he turned around to rummage in her bag once again

“Cranberry white chocolate.” He read out loud. “Sounds like a fucking dream right about now.” He took a bite, feeling a little bit of his humanity being restored as he chewed.

“So, who’s your friend kid?”

“Huh?” Adam looked over at Nadine, too caught up munching on the heavenly granola bar.

“Your mate.” Nadine said. “The one I’m taking you to. Are they a good friend?”

“He’s-” Adam hesitated. “I’m not sure what he is.”

“Potential boyfriend?” Nadine’s voice was steady, no different from just a moment ago talking about the granola bar. Like she was asking about the weather. Like she was asking about a girl.

“We’re not even really friends, I guess.” Adam confessed. His mouth suddenly felt dry, like the granola bar had been made of sand, sucking all of the moisture out of his mouth. He looked down on his hands. “I’m not sure if we’re anything.”

Nadine hummed and then fell silent for a moment. When they stopped at a red light she turned to him, the rain drumming steadily on the windshield as the windshield wipers tried their best to keep up.

“Hey.” She said, leaning over just slightly so that she could put her hand softly on his knee. “You were running through the woods, in the middle of the night in pouring rain, and when asked where you wanted to go, he was the first person you thought of.” She smiled, giving Adam’s knee a light squeeze. “I’m pretty sure you’re something.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of update yesterday, I struggled a bit with this chapter. But now it's up and I hope you like it!


	7. Stay

As they pulled up to the tan brick house Adam couldn’t stop his leg from bouncing up and down, his nerves a tangled mess. He shivered, almost feeling feverish.  
  
“You alright?” Nadine looked at him. “Cuz you kinda look like shit, kid."  
  
Adam huffed. “Thanks.”  
  
Her gaze softened. “He’s gonna be happy to see you.”  
  
“And what if he’s not?” Adam asked. “What if he slams the door in my face or sumthin’?”  
  
“Then you call me.” Nadine leaned over into the back seat, pulling a pen and small notepad from it. She scribbled her number onto one of the pages and tore it off, handing it to Adam. “Alright?”  
  
Adam looked at the piece of paper in his hand, at the still wet ink spelling out Nadine’s name and number. Carefully he folded it up, opening the backpack and putting it safely inside, away from the rain.  
  
“Alright.” He murmured. “Thanks.”  
  
“Don’t mention it.” She smiled.  
  
Adam put his hand on the door handle, suddenly hesitant to leave. If he opened the door and walked out of this car, he didn’t know what waited him. He didn’t know what would happen. He didn’t know where he would end up. Staying in the car seemed easier. Staying in the car felt comfortable, in a way. It felt- Breath catching lightly in his throat, Adam swallowed, chasing away the lump he could feel forming. This, he realized, must be what being safe felt like.  
  
Tears stinging his eyes, he sniffled lightly, ducking his head down. “Well, thanks for the ride I guess.” He shrugged. “Hope you don’t regret it, or whatever.”  
  
“I don’t, kid.” Nadine’s voice was soft. “Hey, keep in touch yeah? Let me know you’re alright?”  
  
Adam bit his lip, blinking harshly a few times. “Yeah.” He cleared his voice, trying to make his vocal cords to cooperate. ”Yeah I will.”  
  
“Good. Bye kid. Take care of yourself.”  
  
“Bye.”  
  
  
And with that, Adam opened the door and stepped out into the rain once again, shutting the door behind him. He looked back and Nadine smiled and gave him a little wave, causing him to smile. He raised his hand, waved awkwardly, and then started walking up to the house. He could hear Nadine’s car rolling away, rendering him alone.  
  
  
Gripping the strap of the backpack tightly, Adam made his way up the stairway. He shivered again, his body feeling hot and uncomfortable. He raised his hand, placing his finger or the doorbell. He hesitated. _What the fuck am I doing?_ He shook his head, letting his arm drop by his side. Maybe he should just go. He could call Nadine, he reasoned. Maybe she would let him stay for a couple of days, just until he could figure something out? Sighing, he used his sleeve to wipe the rain from his face. _I’m pretty sure you’re something._ Nadine’s voice suddenly rang in his head, loudly, reminding him once again about that small, fleeting touch to his pinkie. In a flash he was back in the band room again, feeling Eric’s soft skin under his hands. _What was that?_ Eric’s soft, wondering voice urged him on, and before he could talk himself out of it again he took a deep breath, raised his hand and pressed the button to the doorbell, hearing the unmistakable ringing sound from behind the door. And then he waited.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all: SEASON 2 CONFIRMED, AAAAH!!! I AM SCREECHING!! 
> 
> Sorry about the short chapter, it was just needed to kind of weave everything together. 
> 
> Unbetad as always, all mistakes are mine. Also, I can't remember if we ever saw the Effiong house from the outside much, so I dunno how it actually looks, so I kinda winged it.
> 
> Also, am I the only one who thinks that "I'll be good" by James Young is like the perfect song for Adam? It makes me think of him and the character development I'm hoping for him in season 2. My boy needs redemption <3


End file.
